As I shared in this article, the numbers are quite exhaustive of the times I’ve wrestled with God over why he doesn’t have my family attending church in person (within a church building) or heck, even a home church for that matter.
Truth is, it mostly bothers me that it bothers other people. And because it bothers other people maybe what I am trying to figure out here is if it does indeed bother God too.
It doesn’t really bother other people until it does. And those people are usually, but not always, a certain kind of people. Most often the ones clutching their pearls and touting Hebrews 10:25.
And that’s lame.
Frankly, gathering with other like-minded people who love Jesus and together we get to build community and experience corporate worship has been something I’ve longed for. And in the middle of the longing is this weird attempt to tie the quality of my faith to the amount of Sunday sermons I’ve attended.
But almost always, when seeking God to move in my life, I’ve first looked toward the church building to offer what I felt was lacking, as if that building, or someone in it, had what I needed.
For instance, while trying to save a marriage that eventually didn’t last or on the extra hard days of single motherhood or the time God gave me a word in 2009 and I desperately sought His next steps.
And here’s what I found.
Some of the churches I stepped into were quite lovely but mostly, and this is the very sad part, they tasted of plain vanilla.
Oddly enough, and for whatever reason, the four walls of the church building have not been where God delivered the messages that changed the trajectory of my life.
As a matter of fact, the church building is not where I’ve experienced the fire-burning transformational power of God. It’s not where He has marked me.
Ever.
The church building is not where I first spoke in tongues, experienced deliverance, received inspired direction, and met Godly women who breathed fresh revelation over my life.
Over and over again God has met me in these out-of-the-box ways: out in nature, while driving in my car, within the four walls of my home, or sending women of mentorship to me from the most random places.
And so, one afternoon, while in my kitchen, I took up the conversation with the One I’ve always pressed into. Seeking resolution once and for all.
Truth be told, I was not expecting a quick response.
Perhaps my standards are quite low some days, but sure as the noonday sun lands, when my fervent request had come to a wrap - communion over community - wrang softly in my spirit and covered me like a peaceful soft blanket.
Without a doubt, I immediately knew what those words meant.
After all these years, this conversation on church attendance finally began to be unpacked and a back-and-forth dialogue I had been waiting on for so long began to emerge.
It’s here Cassie, in the intimate place of your home, and on Sundays with you gathering in your living room for church online, that I am building your family’s foundation in me.
I will not permit you to get lost in the noise of community but rather I have gathered your young family to a place of communion so that you will know what it truly means to have intimate fellowship with me.
I will not release you into the many until your foundation is firm, your lampstand is solid and your light can shine bright.
With everything in me, I believe it is not just my family this word is for.
He has kept some.
Kept them for an emergence.
A fresh voice with a burning fire.
God in his perfect provision and protection is building up a people in a unique way. Calling them to be set apart and for Him to be the first and only teacher of their unit. His sheep will know His voice and I believe He wants His voice to be the loudest and most impactful in their lives.
I can’t help but wonder how many others have not answered this call.
Afraid to step out of the comfort of established relationships. In the name of being afraid of doing the wrong thing or being rejected by man, they miss out on the sweetness of coming into Him in a new and fresh way.
How many are sitting in their churches hungry and thirsting for righteousness and not being fed according to God’s good and perfect will for their life and their family?